T -Take time to give time

We live in an age of time-conscious hecticity. Spending quality time with someone can say to him that he is valuable and important. Provided of course, that you are with him at least for mutual benefit, not just for your advantage.

I have known people who have taken an occasion to “spend time” with another person, but it turned out to be for self-interest. They give a convoluted meaning to “taking the time” to be with their friend. More like, stealing time away. There was very little if any mutuality at all. Such people might be grateful for what they got out of it, but the supposed recipient was hardly enriched at all.

Quality time includes more listening than talking, paying attention with a degree of self-sacrificial effort, and tuning out the world while tuning in to him or her.

Here are some ways to do this:

1. Give her your time so that she has more time to do something she needs or wants. I’ve seen beautiful displays of kindness when a person volunteered her time to babysit a couple’s young children so they could have a date night. Or observed sweet relief to a single parent who was drowning in dutiful busyness.

2.How about coming alongside someone to redouble his efforts to accomplish a project? Shaving off an hour here or a day there for this person allows him to spend it elsewhere. Sometimes, that is greatly needed, while other times it is a great gift.

3. Giving an hour merely to listen to his frustrations, her anxieties, their dreams, goals, or fears will do wonders.

4.Going to a ball game together, or fishing, or a hometown play elevates relationships.

5.Or in times of loss or grief, merely showing up and sitting silently without offering platitudes, clichés, or any advice at all is the best sort of comfort you can give.